Experience of Awareness
When I was a small kid, just 7 years old, I liked to get my bike and drive it
to near by villages. I would drive several miles without seeing anyone,
choosing pathways none is taking. Then I would suddenly stop, get off the bike
and observe, the road and surroundings. I would feel happiness of the simple
presence. The air, or surrounding space, became so bright, so clear, like a
diamond shine. I could not describe that feeling but I like it so much. I
never told anyone about it.
And then, some 40 years later, one day in zen mediation, I fell to sleep-like
state. In a moment I saw (and I was), a dark sea of "something". The enormous
sea covered all my vision, was moving slowly with small waves inside itself.
Those movement, the waves, looked just like the diamond shine clarity I have
seen before.
Without thoughts, I knew, that was pure awareness. The awareness is a dark sea
of clarity, a single block of clarity.
According to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, the awareness as a singular, non-dual,
and absolute principle. The awareness is the changeless, silent, and total
foundation for all experiences, while what we typically call consciousness is
its changing, partial, and relative reflection in the mind and body.
Today, my practice is to keep attention behind my mind, not get involved in
the meaning of words but to keep stable and strong mind without thoughts.
Well, sometimes I succeed. Most of the time, the thoughts carry me over into
bullshit of daily existence. When I remember, I get back into state before
words.
When I have no thoughts, I do not feel peace or quietness. Not at all. I feel
stable "something" inside and around my head and I hear strange, constant
buzzing. The sound does not come form ears at all but rather from the outside.
I am investigating patiently this phenomena by observing it.
In these states of deep meditation I have realized the true meaning of life
and I want to tell to all people of this troubled world the simple truth:
don't worry about anything at all!
If I wanted to give you one advise that would be: don't worry about anything!
You are not here by accident. Even in this physical form, in this 3
dimensional world, far away from the center of galaxy, remember, you are here
just for awhile.
You, real "you", is behind everything, real "you" is eternal. You must know
this thing! If you know and trust this, you don't have to worry about
anything. When you say 'I', the true meaning of 'I' is joy, it is happiness,
it is life and it is also the witnessing of life.
Things happening in the world are no big deal. Let the events come, let them
pass. Enjoy what comes, and don't worry about anything. Be happy, inside
yourself happy, happy. Everything is fine, all is fine.
This is the most important thing in life: to live without self-concerns. Stop
worrying about your welfare, material or spiritual, abandon needs, gross or
subtle, stop thinking of that you need anything. You are complete here and
now, you need absolutely nothing.
For this you must have a glimpse of your true awareness. Sit quietly, place
your attention behind the words and thoughts and "feel" the presence, feel
your simple existence. That is your true being: clear, fearless, infinite and
ever victorious. Be there! Once you realize with absolute certainty, that
nothing can trouble you but your own imagination, you come to disregard your
mind, desires and fears, concepts and ideas.
In the beginning you need courage to see that your "I" sense is just another
thought. So whatever the 'I' does is simple imagination. Take out the "I",
remove your name and feeling of self and nothing remains. In final view there
is no 'you', no 'I', no mind and no thought. All there is, is your awareness.
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