I noticed I was talking a way too much revealing and complaining about my private life. I was sharing details with my drinking buddies, in fact I was just feeding them with gossip and creating a negative image of my myself.

Of course, seeking support is valid. Talking to a trusted friend or turning to professional help can be useful, but there's a fine line between looking for a guidance and simply spreading gossip around. 

I was aware to notice my stupid behavior. Actually by talking I was blatantly exposing my weaknesses and fears. There are many wrongs related to that. The problem is revealing things to people who don't care about me at all. Instead of support, I got judgments, discouraging comments, and laugher.

I am rising awareness regarding my habit of talking. From today I am starting a practice of being silent.

When we start talking, we enter a verbal masturbation, a web of words, ideas, and concepts created by the mind. Words support each other but lack any substance. They are like seeds that, when said, can grow into actions, beliefs, and feelings in others. "I am" is before words. The sense of existence precedes thought and speech. Therefore, I should strive to be clear of this verbal masturbation and go beyond it to the silent reality.

Telling everything about my life is not always a sign of my openness or trust. It actually means quite opposite.  It is my weakness, unnecessary exposure, an open invitation for others to ridicule and influence my actions. People are not genuinely interested and happy for my success. They are actually pretending so I am going to stop talking.

Being silent is a powerful skill. My private life I will keep to myself so I will preserve my energy, protect my peace, and create space for my actions to speak louder than my words.

Whenever I was planning a big change, having some good idea or just dreaming big, I thought it is natural to feel the urge to tell everything to others. It was my expectation that others will support me. But this is mistake. Speaking too soon weakens the process. My plans that are still being built in my head are fragile. By exposing them too early, I risk being discouraged by "that's never going to work." 

Nowadays, we feel the need to show everything we do on social media: workout routines, trips, meals, studies, achievements. The problem is, the more we expose, the more we open space for judgment, jealousy, gossip, criticism and envy.

I have Facebook account, I post there mostly photos from vacation and from going out. I also write this web site exposing myself sometimes in more details than I should but I think there's nothing wrong with exposing my fears or being proud of what I've accomplished. I carefully avoid mistake - I am not asking you for the approval. I do not care what you think about me and I don't need your approval. 

My life is an exercise of my acting. My performance is all that matters. Constant fight to be aware in daily activities has value even if no one sees it. 

I have concluded that work on self-realization is a privilege. But talking about it, without being asked, is an exaggeration, and arrogant way of expression, even if that was not my intention. Enlightenment state doesn't need to be announced. It reveals itself naturally. People notice a difference through actions, stability, silence and shiny eyes.

And there is an extra thing I don't want to forget. I used to tell others how much I earn, how much debt I have, or what I'm spending on. Money matters are sensitive so I am going to shut the fuck up! I don't need advice regarding these matters.

In an increasingly connected world, I need to learn how to stop sharing things with others. It is a form of wisdom. Not everything needs to be exposed. 

I distrust people. I take them as ignorant appearances who are leading wasteful life. I have nothing to share with them so my silence is more than maturity, it is pure wisdom.

I'm striving towards self-realization. It is my dream to find out truth, so my struggle, and my discoveries I should keep for myself. It's lightness and security, the strategic silence, it's self-control, it's exactly what ensures reaching my goal with less distractions.