exploration of inner self by questioning beliefs and assumptions

Hey Buddy, Let’s Talk



When I write this I am not trying to talk politely in some "we" tone, making my words less direct, less harsh and maybe rude. I don't want to do that. I am writing directly to you.

I see you suffer my friend, you're lost in lies of this world, suspended between your contradictory desires.

Are you religious? Do you believe in a God who died on earth, resurrected to heaven, and now waiting to judge you.

I hate to break it, but God you’re worshiping isn’t chilling on a cloud or hiding in a burning bush. Jesus Christ isn’t some celestial being floating outside your reach, he’s been in your corner all along. In fact, he’s so close, you’ve mistaken him for background noise.

The cross you imagine Jesus carried? Is a metaphor. The real cross is the one you carry every day; the cross of ignorance. You’ve buried Christ so deep in yourself, he’s practically become a roommate you’ve forgotten about. It’s time to dig him out and say, “Hey buddy, let’s talk.”

Ignorance is a universal condition. It started when your mom, in all her loving cluelessness, taught you that you’re a body with a name. And you believed her because, well, you were too young to argue.

It is your destiny by being born. Ha, destiny is believed to be something that will necessarily happen in the future. It is taken to be some the hidden power which control what will happen, somebody calls it - fate.

Destiny is not the future, it is what you think right now!

The person is glued to the destiny. Destiny is nothing else but your thinking habits. What you think is what you feel and what you feel is what you see.

I'm not quite sure how much you are responsible. I’m not talking about your responsibilities as a parent, employee, or a friend. These are the circumstances you have found yourself in, I am talking about the responsibility you have - for yourself.

Have you ever wondered what "yourself" really is?

Whatever thing you are looking at, you can not be that ? Do you agree with that?

If so, you can observe thoughts which appears to be somewhere in your head, so you can look at it and that means you are separate from thoughts, you are not what you think.

You can observe your feelings but in different way, because the feelings carries energy and that energy takes your attention fully by identifying with the feeling. But try, just for a second, separate your attention from your feelings, you can see that you are not these every moment changeful feelings.

You can observe yourself being happy or being sad, in the midst of anger you can observe your rage, so definitely you are not emotions.

There is a psychological training,  I recommend it, it is called Self-Observation.

It is a simple practice, you divide your attention and you create a passive observer of whatever you do during a day. You observe it. You do not try to change what you see, you just observe what you think is "yourself".

Very soon after you start practicing you will notice the contradictions, lies, self-calming talk, self-pity attitude and many other things. You maybe be shocked how much your thoughts are lying to you and you will realize what is your real position.

You are you. A person who exists. I and the rest of us, are only images on your screen... and alike we live, loving and pissing on each other, while searching for the meaning of this.

Early in 2002, I was pushed into spiritual path. In the beginning of my awakening, I felt like I didn’t belong to this world and its people. And I still do.

But somehow, I became different than you

You take this life as a journey. You experience it as if you are traveling from one to another event in time, with hopes, expectations and dreams. I may appear to do and feel the same like you but that is not quite true.

I may make plans to travel, to go for a vacation, meet my friends, have dedication for yoga practice, finish work project, etc. but what I actually feel inside myself is an endless peace. I'm satisfied with where I am. For me the life is a bittersweet entertainment.

On other hand you are running in a treadmill. You evaluate life through your satisfaction. Something is a profit, something is a loss for you, success or failure, pain or pleasure, call it as you like. So, no matter what you try to do, you really never come to a place of peace, of a complete fulfillment. And the worst part is that you don't even see that you are on a treadmill.

I don't worry much. This is a good thing right? Not always. My lack of worry irritates the people around me. I am seen as an irresponsible, for my money spending especially. My lack of fear is easily misinterpreted as lack of humility. Maybe I am fickle and unstable, my daughter takes me as a showman, an entertainer, my wife thinks I'm immature, my boss at work feels like I lack respect.

People think that I'm careless. And they bother me with a long monologue of useless advices. I keep offending those who have strong egos, which can actually become a threat, some people may even try to use me, I simply don't care... and that offends.

Have your time come?

It's a funny thing, we are living in an age where everything is so available, nothing is hidden. But you have no idea about the true authentic awakening, the science which explores the mechanics of your own suffering and the way out of it.

The world around you treats you in a certain way because you are a person projecting your knowledge of WHO YOU ARE.

In fact, the society simply reacts to how you see yourself, the patterns of your reactions, speech makes your behavior. In turn, you really think that you are in the world and the most of the time that world does not treat you according to your wishes. From a perspective of Reality you look like as a complete lunatic.

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