2 or 3 years after the birth of this physical body I started knowing myself, I became aware of my existence. 

Since 4, I had to go to kindergarten, and around 7 I found out that life is some serious shit. Repetition, competition, grades, discipline, useless tasks... step by step I became a person with overwhelming desire to please others. 

For most of my life, I've thought of myself to be a truthful person. But I was telling lies all my life, out of kindness or to avoid conflict or to avoid uncomfortable conversations.

I’ve used lying, just saying numerous half-truths in order to please others. I've found it was easier to say “yes” even when I did not mean it to do so. It was less uncomfortable than to give constructive feedback expressing my real need of the situation.

I held stubborn and stupid belief that I am awake and sane person. That was a great mistake.

I thought I knew how the world works, but I really didn't. I moved through life forming opinions and I entertained little stories about who I am and why I do the things I did. Taken as a whole, I considered myself to be real. The truth is, I had no clue why I act the way I do, choose the things I choose, or think the thoughts I think. 

10 years ago, I went to a theater to watch a play. While watching the actors on stage I had a strange experience. I asked myself what happens if the actors don't know they're actors. What if they think that they're normal people going about their normal lives, unaware that they're just acting a play on a stage, performing. Then for a brief millisecond I realized something about life. We are all performing a play.

Life is a play and you are being played

Every single day I am faced with a million little things that encourage me to take this life seriously. Events I have found myself in, causing me to be so self-centered around my personality. I am free to say that my life is nothing but one frustration after another.

I'm turning everyday situations into problems, constantly on the lookout for shit to complain about and worrying about a bunch of things that simply do not matter. My bare needs are a place to sleep, something to wear and to have two meals a day. Everything else is luxury to please my vanity.

I was a small kid and I had a cousin who used to come and have a drink with my father. My cousin was in his 70s and he was always talking about the end of the world. For him the end was inevitable and imminent. That was 50 years ago, nothing changed. Whatever you look you will see the people talking just like my cousin. YouTube is full of the end of the world videos.

The world will not end, what actually has happened is that people are getting old. Nothing else. The bullshit they're trying to sell to others are medicine for their neurotic and tired mind. All life they were wanting something that does not exist, finally the old age came so panic and desperation surfaced.

Yesterday my wife asked me who do I trust? I told her no one, there is no a single person in this world that I trust, including her. She was not pleased with such honest answer, she, just like all other people prefers lies over truth.

I understand that a person does not exist and that we are on the stage, being played. All people that I know - my daughter, father, wife, my relatives, friends, neighbors, coworkers etc... are mechanical automations in a deep sleep, wrapped up in their imaginary view of the world. They have to see that fact yet, and it's not sufficient to see it philosophically in words. It is necessary to realize it in clean, simple, and concrete facts, in their own life.

Truth and the world are two completely different things, and the world is distorted by our beliefs about what it is and what it should be. The world plays around our excessive pride in our appearance, qualities, abilities and achievements. 

Truth is, everything in this world is fake. It is a a great liberation knowing this. If this is so, then my fears and worries are also fake, false, lies. My personality is false, my world, aspirations and desires.,  my interests, striving, hopes and everything else... are one layer of bullshit on the top of another.

This is to be understood! The life has to be seen for what it is, a lie... and yet let the play go.

When you understand your position, then what? The new understanding of self does not help you in the world at all. But if you understand that your self-sense has been formed and constructed out of your ideas, beliefs, and images, you will see, eventually, that it doesn't define you, it fools you; The truth is, you have no identity. 

If you get out of those images you are having about your self, your play begins to collapse, so to speak. By losing your sense of self, it's as if you have lost the whole world as you knew it. That is the end of the world worth talking about.

You definitely know that there is nothing but perception. "The play" is just that, a play. You have never been an actor, it is only your perception! And fuck "you create your reality", you cannot change a thing about it.